mah mom.

on april 2nd, my mom had a minor surgery to remove a kidney dialysis access in her left arm that was put there in 2003; over 8 years ago.

my second cousin molly donated a kidney in august 2004, and a successful transplant occurred. 

my mom is a fighter and a survivor, we owe her life to molly, capable doctors, and a mindful and merciful Heavenly Father.

on april 17th, 2012 my mom turned a happy and healthy 51.

what a long way we've come!

in light of her recent surgery, i've been thinking about that time. although i was away at school, it was a vivid time in my life.

i remember finding out about her diagnosis, her kidney failure. i was living upstairs at the shanty, and i remember sitting against that panelboard stairwell receiving the news. there was talk about creatinine levels, possible scenarios, timeframe of decline, dialysis, and the possibility of a transplant...my mind raced. it all seems surreal now.

i remember coming home that Christmas and attending a dialysis session with her. seeing her there amongst all those "sick people" was difficult for me. she didn't belong there. 3-4 hours a day, 3 days a week, she did not belong there. i remember rubbing her feet new years eve as she lay in bed tired and uncomfortable. i remember thinking, "she's so young, is this really happening?"

i got engaged in april of 2004, married june 19th of that year, and we had our reception in my parent's backyard. we still joke that the incredible attendance at my wedding was due to the fact that my dad was a new bishop, and everyone thought my mom was going to die. thank goodness she didn't, and thank you to all of you that came.

i remember the day of the transplant. i was working an art secretary shift at byu-idaho and my dad was calling periodically with updates.

"they're taking her back."

"they've successfully retrieved molly's kidney."

"they're putting it in mom."

"it's working in mom."

i sobbed there at my desk on the second floor of the new spori building, and said a prayer of gratitude.

AMAZING.

she spent the next month in portland, and her recovery went well. she came home, and eventually felt better than she had felt in years; no complications, no signs of rejection, and the access (called a fistula) was taken out this month. she shouldn't need it again. 

and now her funny "buzzing arm" is flat and quiet and she's entered the world of short sleeved shirts once again. hallelujah mom, let's go shopping:)

i'm so grateful for my mom. she is my best friend, my very best friend. i know i'm lucky to have her. i love the way my kid's faces light up when she comes around. i love how harrison reaches out at his first sight of her, and how her purse has a never ending supply of fruit snacks for olive.

she has amazing quiet dignity and grit strength that i so admire.

i'm so proud of you mom, i love you.

easter

feeling grateful today.

i received some difficult news yesterday that a college roommate's husband, who has been battling hodgkins lymphoma since last august, was to be taken off of life support today after complications due to a recent bought of pneumonia. 
you can read the story here.

it's been a difficult weekend for us girls. it's awful to hear of such immense heartache in one of our own, and it's difficult to know what to do or say. aubry wrote about it beautifully here.

as i was walking to church today with my sweet family in the most perfect spring weather, my mind turned again to carrie and her family and all my "shanty" girls. despite being scattered across the country, i felt close to them today. i knew we were united in thought, and prayer, and faith, and love for carrie and one another. 

so today, easter sunday, i'm praying a little harder, holding my family a little tighter and feeling grateful for the things that really matter most in life.

and on this beautiful holiday above ALL else, i'm grateful for my Savior, for his perfect life, his selfless death, his essential resurrection, and his atoning sacrifice that truly, truly reaches us all, even especially in times like these.

day by day

jan-march 2012:

harrison is growing like a weed. we found out yesterday that he's 75% for height, whoa. following in his sister's footsteps, she came in at 95% for height. apparently we grow them BIG. 
harrison transitioned to a new forward facing carseat last month, and he loves to eat. like, loves. to. eat!
he can say mama, dada, da (dog), ba (ball) and he can sign "milk", "more" and "all done". his big sister picks on him relentlessly but he can't stand to be away from her, no one can make him laugh like she can.

this picture. i die...i made him.

feeling a bit winter-wonder locked back in february, and waiting anxiously for the first signs of spring.

playing outside on the warmer days and dodging the frequent rain that comes with spring in idaho.

olive took this picture of harrison. i kind of LOVE it!

4:00 most any day-witching hour.

we have discovered that in addition to packing tape dispensers, and kid screams on monster's inc, harrison is terrified of carousel rides.

olive is pushing all boundaries lately. she thinks she can do e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g herself. she's discovered playing outside with friends, she's on her bike as much as possible and she's fast. the other morning i went upstairs to switch laundry, and i came down to find a chair by the front door, and it swinging wide open. she had climbed up, unlocked both locks and taken her brother out front to play. harrison was sitting in the dirt on my flowers, thankfully and olive was off riding bikes with her neighborhood posse. BUT holy panic! i do appreciate the break, but it's sort of anxiety ridden appreciation the whole time. we're new at this 3 year old independence thing.

fly tying 101 with papa

she is in love with david archuleta's version of "i'm trying to be like jesus" i totally get it olive, i kind of love him too.

we've entered the world of computer games, and discovered that sesamestreet.org is a great bribe for good behavior.

spencer and i have been working in the yard a lot. i think the things i dreamed of most before we had a home were home design projects and yard work. 

spencer built a garden box and we planted onions and peas last saturday. we have basil, cilantro and bell peppers in the window pining for warmer weather and a yellow wire tomato cage just waiting to be spruced up with red fruit. i feel like a kid waiting for Christmas.

we've also been picking up plants here and there. our back yard was essentially dirt beds when we moved in, and we just bought the most amazing english roses for under our kitchen window. david austin scepter d'isle. google it, dreamy.

a sunday walk by the river. cut short by the rain, but still.

we're also planning summer and setting aside our 2012 something(s) to look forward to.

so far:

• a week in island park with my family
• a girls trip to monterey.
• pool time in july with the peterson's and the newest family babe.
• and a (hopeful) trip to north carolina (in-laws, 100 mile bike ride and the BEACH!), fingers crossed.